I cannot believe it has been 4 weeks since little man made his grand entrance into the world! I was holding him this morning at his 3 AM feeding and I was thinking back to what I was doing the day we had him. I woke up that morning at 5:00 AM, way before Jeff, I got a shower and then started sanitizing bottles, my pump, washing sheets for the nursery, etc...... now that I think back on it I wonder if I had one day of "nesting." Jeff came home for lunch and as he was headed back to the office I called and told him to come back we were going to the doctor and hopefully having our baby!The last four weeks have been some of the hardest but best days of my life. When I married Jeff I knew I loved him, but when I saw him holding our sweet son I fell in love with him all over again. He has been an amazing support for me. Since I had complications with the c- section I had a little longer to recover and Jeff stepped up and did most of the nightly feedings and changes so that my body could rest. I am still so amazed at the man Father gifted to me, I am so undeserving of such a loving, servant minded man.
When I was feeding Tripp this morning he had his little hand wrapped around my fingers and I could not help but think of Mary. God sent his only son and she was chosen to be his earthly mother. I wonder what it was like for her holding a child that was actually perfect. I wonder if he wrapped his little fingers around hers as she feed him and I wonder what songs she sang to him. I could not imagine the heart ache she went through as his earthly mother when she saw him on the cross and to know that it was also for her sins that he was there. I weep when I think about how much Christ has done for me and I do not deserve any of it.
Every morning after Jeff goes to work Tripp and I pray, well I do the praying while he sleeps :) I pray constantly that God would make Tripp one of his children. I know there is nothing I can do to make him become a believer and that is so scary to me. I pray that he grows to be a man strong in his faith and that he shares the gospel with boldness. I have prayed that wherever God has him in the future, if it's down the road from us raising godly children or in a country that hates and kills Christians, that I would remember he was a gift and belongs to God. Being a mother in these few short weeks has rocked my world. I am so in love with our baby! To God be the glory!
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Thursday, July 10, 2014
June 24, 2014
June 24th our crazy pregnancy journey came to an end! We went to the doctor around 1:00 and she said I had progressed a lot more from the day before and was still having contractions. She told us to wait about an hour and head over to the hospital to prep for our c- section. At that time I was not freaking out at all.... Jeff on the other hand was starting to. When we got to check in we saw my favorite nurse, Christi and found out she was working. I cried a little knowing that she was there the night we went into labor at 22 weeks and she had been such a big prayer warrior for us throughout this process. She was getting to see this long journey end and be apart of it! My parents, brother, sister-in-law, and Jeff's parents came up to see us before the birth. Joseph and Kristen prayed with us and then sent our parents in. Before Tripp birth we all prayed (including my amazing nurse) for Tripp to be healthy, for me to be healthy, for the doctors and nurses, but most importantly we prayed for Tripp's salvation. I know I have no choice in my sons salvation and that all Jeff and I can do is live out a life for Christ before him. However, we all prayed and continue to pray God chooses to adopt him.
The time came to take me into the operating room and I got really scared. I remember telling Jeff I was not sure I was ready, but he reminded me God is sovereign and he has been so good to us throughout this process. Christi stayed past her shift to take care of little man after he was born and she also supported me through my epidural, which I might add after the 4th stick I was not loving the doctor so much. Dr. Pitcher came in and held my hand while the nurses got me ready and then it was show time! I kept asking Dr. Pitcher if I was numb over and over. I guess by this point she knew me well enough to not tell me she had started. She laughed and said "I'm breaking your bag of water so you tell me if your numb!" At that point my nerves calmed and I just laid there waiting to see little man. When he came Dr. Pitcher yelled out "oh my goodness he's beautiful!" and then she showed him to me real fast before they took our sweet son away! I could not wait to get my hands on him. I thought I would be holding him within 30 minutes, but God was about to teach me another lesson in trusting him.
After they got him cleaned up Jeff came and sat beside me and held him. I remember thinking it had to have been longer than 30 minutes, which is how long they said it would take to get me sown up. I asked Jeff how long it had been and he said he was not sure. I finally managed to find the clock to realize I had been laying there for 2 hours. A few minutes later I heard one of the doctors say 74/48 which now I know was my blood pressure, and hanging a glass bottle of weird looking fluid. Dr. Pitcher calmly told me she had been trying to stop bleeding for 2 hours but she couldn't keep playing around with it she would have to cut my left Fallopian tube. I had fear come over me like never before and I thought I am never going to hold my baby... I am going to bleed out and never hold my child. Then Father softly reminded me of the phrase I had been repeating to myself for 14 weeks..... "Fear Not." They finally finished up and took me to recovery.
When they handed me Tripp for the first time I had a flood of emotions come over me like never before. This was MY son! I had read scripture to him, prayed over him, cried for fear of losing him, but now he was in my arms. I begin to realize how much I loved this little baby, but Fathers love is so much more and that overwhelmed my heart! Once everyone left Jeff and I had a few minutes alone and we got the pray over little man and thank Father for the gift he has placed in our arms. We are so in love with this gift from Father. The journey has not been easy, but Father has been so faithful! I cannot wait to see what's in store for little mans life. To God be the glory, great things he has done!
The time came to take me into the operating room and I got really scared. I remember telling Jeff I was not sure I was ready, but he reminded me God is sovereign and he has been so good to us throughout this process. Christi stayed past her shift to take care of little man after he was born and she also supported me through my epidural, which I might add after the 4th stick I was not loving the doctor so much. Dr. Pitcher came in and held my hand while the nurses got me ready and then it was show time! I kept asking Dr. Pitcher if I was numb over and over. I guess by this point she knew me well enough to not tell me she had started. She laughed and said "I'm breaking your bag of water so you tell me if your numb!" At that point my nerves calmed and I just laid there waiting to see little man. When he came Dr. Pitcher yelled out "oh my goodness he's beautiful!" and then she showed him to me real fast before they took our sweet son away! I could not wait to get my hands on him. I thought I would be holding him within 30 minutes, but God was about to teach me another lesson in trusting him.
After they got him cleaned up Jeff came and sat beside me and held him. I remember thinking it had to have been longer than 30 minutes, which is how long they said it would take to get me sown up. I asked Jeff how long it had been and he said he was not sure. I finally managed to find the clock to realize I had been laying there for 2 hours. A few minutes later I heard one of the doctors say 74/48 which now I know was my blood pressure, and hanging a glass bottle of weird looking fluid. Dr. Pitcher calmly told me she had been trying to stop bleeding for 2 hours but she couldn't keep playing around with it she would have to cut my left Fallopian tube. I had fear come over me like never before and I thought I am never going to hold my baby... I am going to bleed out and never hold my child. Then Father softly reminded me of the phrase I had been repeating to myself for 14 weeks..... "Fear Not." They finally finished up and took me to recovery.
When they handed me Tripp for the first time I had a flood of emotions come over me like never before. This was MY son! I had read scripture to him, prayed over him, cried for fear of losing him, but now he was in my arms. I begin to realize how much I loved this little baby, but Fathers love is so much more and that overwhelmed my heart! Once everyone left Jeff and I had a few minutes alone and we got the pray over little man and thank Father for the gift he has placed in our arms. We are so in love with this gift from Father. The journey has not been easy, but Father has been so faithful! I cannot wait to see what's in store for little mans life. To God be the glory, great things he has done!
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