I cannot believe it has been 4 weeks since little man made his grand entrance into the world! I was holding him this morning at his 3 AM feeding and I was thinking back to what I was doing the day we had him. I woke up that morning at 5:00 AM, way before Jeff, I got a shower and then started sanitizing bottles, my pump, washing sheets for the nursery, etc...... now that I think back on it I wonder if I had one day of "nesting." Jeff came home for lunch and as he was headed back to the office I called and told him to come back we were going to the doctor and hopefully having our baby!The last four weeks have been some of the hardest but best days of my life. When I married Jeff I knew I loved him, but when I saw him holding our sweet son I fell in love with him all over again. He has been an amazing support for me. Since I had complications with the c- section I had a little longer to recover and Jeff stepped up and did most of the nightly feedings and changes so that my body could rest. I am still so amazed at the man Father gifted to me, I am so undeserving of such a loving, servant minded man.
When I was feeding Tripp this morning he had his little hand wrapped around my fingers and I could not help but think of Mary. God sent his only son and she was chosen to be his earthly mother. I wonder what it was like for her holding a child that was actually perfect. I wonder if he wrapped his little fingers around hers as she feed him and I wonder what songs she sang to him. I could not imagine the heart ache she went through as his earthly mother when she saw him on the cross and to know that it was also for her sins that he was there. I weep when I think about how much Christ has done for me and I do not deserve any of it.
Every morning after Jeff goes to work Tripp and I pray, well I do the praying while he sleeps :) I pray constantly that God would make Tripp one of his children. I know there is nothing I can do to make him become a believer and that is so scary to me. I pray that he grows to be a man strong in his faith and that he shares the gospel with boldness. I have prayed that wherever God has him in the future, if it's down the road from us raising godly children or in a country that hates and kills Christians, that I would remember he was a gift and belongs to God. Being a mother in these few short weeks has rocked my world. I am so in love with our baby! To God be the glory!
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