March 24, 2014

Today has been a good day! My brother and sister-in-law came and visited with us for several hours! I love spending time with them. Since I got married I only get to see them about once a month, so anytime we get to visit I get excited. My sister-in-law made us a goodies bag with all sorts of fun entertainment items and snacks. God blessed our family when she was added. She is the type of person who would give you the shirt off her back she had if you needed it! I always enjoy talking with my brother as well, whether we are discussing something about theology or something we have heard or read on the news, he always brings lots of fun. He wouldn't discuss politics with me to much today because my blood pressure reading went up every time we started talking.... I'm guess I will always be a Colston :) Needless to say it was a much needed visit!!! After they left the doctor came around for her rounds. She told me I was still contracting so they are going to increase the Magnesium again if it was okay with me. I told her whatever it takes to keep the baby in was what I wanted. She expresses I would feel a lot worse, but I just laughed and told her I didn't think feeling worse was possible. They are talking about taking me off one of my pill form of medications tomorrow night at 6:00. The medication has been working with the Magnesium to keep contractions down. I can only have the pill for 72 hours after that it can cause harm to me as well. Please continue to pray that we will have peace and that God will continue to allow me to carry our little boy if that is his will. One thing Jeff and I talked about today was spiritual warfare. Not many people know this but a year and three months ago I went through some of the deepest spiritual warfare of my life. At first I was unsure of what was going on but as I clung to scripture and read a lot of theology on this topic I believed in spiritual warfare for probably the first time in my  life. To just put myself completely out there December 2012 were some of the darkest days of this warfare. I had gotten so depressed one evening I took my dad the gun I owned and told him I had been thinking about using it to end my life and I wanted him to have the gun. I spent a lot of time talking with my brother and my former pastor, Mitch Jolly about this. They encouraged me by sharing some of their experiences with warfare and telling me to  continue to recall scripture and pray. After several months God delivered me out of this. I believe this was a huge growth time in my faith. There were days that I felt I could not function without God reminding me of scripture. So, as I was laying in the hospital bed today just thinking of where my life has been over the last year and three months, I remember reading in a Charles Spurgeon book this quote "When God's servants are active, satan is not without vigilant soldiers who seek to counteract their efforts." I am by no means perfect, but my true hearts desire is to live a life that will only bring glory to Christ and to trust that he has a sovereign will for my life. When this earthly battle is over I want to enter heaven worn out from fighting these spiritual battle as hard as possible. As I was recalling all of these events I could hear The Spirit whispering peace over me. You see had I gone through with what the enemy was throwing at me in 2012, I would not be here today. I am married to an incredible godly man, I have been able to experience the joy of pregnancy, and praying God sees fit to allow me to experience the joy of being a mom! To Him be the glory! Great things he has done!