30 weeks and my first Mother's Day

Yesterday was my first Mother's Day..... I cried some yesterday morning thinking about the fact that in 10 weeks (or less) I will be holding a tiny (or not so tiny) life in my arms. I am scared to death! While thinking about Mother's Day I couldn't help but have a sadness in my heart as well. I mourn for my family and friends who are mothers, but because of the loss of the pregnancy have no child to hold. I also mourn for those that are longing to experience pregnancy or adoption, but because of God's sovereignty it has not happened yet. I do not understand why God gives and takes away, but one thing I do have full assurance of is that God is good in ALL things and he gives good to his children. His glory will shine in ALL things and his sovereign will is done in ALL things. I cannot stop praising Father for allowing me to have this child when doctors told me I never would experience pregnancy and for sparing my sons life at 22 weeks when the doctor were trying to prepare us for losing him. Every time he kicks me I am reminded of God's goodness and that he is the ultimate giver of life! I am reminded that he is allowing me to have the big responsibility of raising a child, while I know I will be far from perfect at it, I hope my weak human attempts will bring glory to Father! I am still so amazed we are at 30 weeks!!! When I had my cervical check on Wednesday it was the thickest it has been! The doctors are amazed, but they have learned to stop saying they do not understand why this is happening. I'm not sure if they disagree with my response or if they are starting to believe me when I say "God is big and he is doing this!" 

While in the hospital this past month I was able to talk with two nurses who are from a country who hates Christianity. One of them asked one morning if I enjoyed reading my Bible, she must have seen it sitting out. This lead to a conversation about my faith. I asked her how long she had been in our country and if she knew who God was. She joyfully responded back with a bold YES and she let me know the other nurse that was from her country was a believer as well. She told me about a group of people from her country who meet in a home to have "church" each week. There are 30 so far who are now believers and she is praying more are converted to Christianity! She began to look sad and explained to me that her heart broke for America. She said we do not understand a lot of the times what it truly means to be a Christian. She said if she were in her country she would die, but here we can freely worship our Father and we do not. She defiantly challenged me to become more bold with sharing my faith with others. These two ladies will always hold a special place in my heart for the time and care they gave to me and my son! I thank Father for their encouragement on days when being in bed got me down and for reminding me I was carrying a miracle!

Before I go I will share some of Tripp's big milestones this week:

• Tripp should be roughly 15.7 inches long and weigh almost 3 pounds. (He had that beat last week he was 3 pounds 7 oz.!) At this point they have not been able to tell us how long he s because he is never still enough for them to get it!
• He has a pint and a half of amniotic fluid around him, but that begins to decrease this week.
• He can respond to light however from now until a few weeks after birth his vision will be 20/400 and he will only be able to make out objects a few inches from his face.
• Tripp's brain is still growing larger and larger everyday in order to prepare for life outside the womb. His brain from this point on will begin looking more and more like a brain.
• His body is learning how to adjust to different temperatures.
• Tripp is starting to shed his lanugo hair, which is the soft body hair that has been keeping him warm.

Thank you Father for all the little details you put into each creation! To God be the glory!